Machinas: Saint Chevy's Custom

Here's the first car. This one was kept simple. All I added was a gun barrel from a Bren machine gun tucked into a pod made from green stuff, and a ram made with plasticard and green stuff spikes.

I chose to finish this one first because it had a lot of surface area to test weathering techniques. I'm happy with this kind of wear - a few spots of rust, some bare metal showing through, and everything covered in a light layer of dust. (Oops, I just noticed I need to finish the headlights ... and probably the tail lights.)

This car cost me all of 84 cents. I think this was an easy investment. I think this was one of my Hotwheel cars. (I also have a few Johnny Lightning cars and an M2 pickup.)

Why is it called Saint Chevy's Custom? Well, here's the narrative tying this project into my post-apoc setting:

Circus Acceleratus

Though the Circus Acceleratus (in Septimontium) plays host to parades, large markets and gladiator games, it was built for one main reason, to host the Festival of Saint Machinas, patron saint of the infernal engine. The festival is a showcase of the ancient technology known as the engine. And the main event of the festival is the races between the dozen or so ancient automobiles.

The festival is put on by the Church because it possesses the only reserves of gasoline. When citizens or nomads discover a cache of the precious fuel, they’re required to give it to the Church; it is illegal to own gasoline (though the penalty is not severe. A few infernal class gladiators have their own tiny stockpiles, a few pints or so - hardly worth the Church’s effort.) The Church, in turn, puts on the spectacular Races of Saint Machinas (known simply as the “Machinas”) for the public.

Though there are around 100 functioning vehicles within the Temple Garages, the Church only races about a dozen for each festival, rotating the different models in and out, and rerunning those vehicles that are more popular with the crowds. This gives the church mechanics time to find replacement parts and perform repairs between festivals. (Many epic quests have been chartered to find carburators, spark plugs and camshafts in and beyond the Wasteland.)

Many of the vehicles were discovered with names already engraved on them, so the Church canonized those names. Spectators cheer on the likes of the Sedan of Saint Chevy, Saint Buick’s Conception or Saint Plymouth’s Fury. Every vehicle has a similar lyrical and holy name attached to it. The drivers, however, are nameless once they enter the Holy Driving School. Until they have finished racing in the Machinas, each driver is only known as “Brother Pilot.”

All of the drivers are priests. Each festival features a new group of drivers who train for 10 years specifically to drive in the Machinas.

There are two main goals in the Machinas: Win the race, but also try to put as many opposing vehicles out of the race. The object is not to kill the other racers, only to put their vehicle out of the race. In fact, many priests who survive a horrendous crash receive it as a sign from the Oppenheimer that they have been given a second chance. From then on, they become even more devout, usually becoming missionaries so that they may share their personal experience of being the subject of a miracle. It is not uncommon to meet a former Brother Pilot-turned missionary who is maimed, blind or scarred.

Before the priests race, they recite the oath at the base of the Statue of Saint Machinas:

“I will endure to be hurled, to be rolled and to be flipped by wheeled metal. And to be shot, and to be burned and to be exploded by missile. Blessed is Saint Machinas.”

 Since gasoline is rare and the vehicles difficult to repair, the festival is only held every four years. But the Circus has enough seating to accommodate 90,000 spectators, almost the population of the known Wasteland. And the Church provides tickets free of charge. So if citizens are able to make the trip to Septimontium, it is certain they will see the Machinas at the Circus Acceleratus.