"Rip Sagan here. I'm yer tour guide, so stay close and listen the hell up: Here are all the ships of the 523rd squadron. That's 12 Comets, 8 Supernovas, and a Pulsar -- that's 21 ships fer those of ya who have a damn problem with math. The comets serve escort, while the larger craft have all been outfitted with the latest in high-falutin' sensory and data-gatherin' equipment; those are Command's words.
You'll notice a couple ships have been named. If the fleet is gonna insult us with a name like 'Sideshow,' I'm gonna sideshow up my squadron like it means nuttin'. Strong Man is our pulsar and command ship. He'll be fitted with either a large dish or sensor pod above the fuselage possibly between the wings. Bearded Lady is named after the large sensor pod under her chin. She is also my personal ship in the squadron.""But Mr. Rip, shouldn't your ship be the Strong Guy?"
"Shut the hell up! Who's givin' the tour here?!"
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry. Don't hurt me."
"Now, if you folks take a look at the cylinder under the wing of Bearded Lady; That pod contains one genuine space torpedo, guaranteed to be one hell of a pain in the ass for his grand, regal, imperial majesty, that nitwit Marduk.
You may have also noticed the torpedoes lined up on the floor. That, ladies and gentlemen is how many torps three cases of bourbon will get ya at Asteroid Base Theta. Lieutenant Drummond drives a high price, but he keeps his mouth shut, speakin' of which, none of you heard that.""Captain, sir, am I to understand you plan to use these torpedoes against Marduk's forces? Is not your squadron a reconnaissance unit? I've seen the schematics and flight organizations for this kind of unit, and ..."
"Crap in a handbasket! I'm gettin' sick of people who think they know everything because they have the latest copy of Osprey's Elite Aviation Units or Jane's All the Galaxy's Fleet ships. The hell with it- everybody get the hell outta here. Tour's over!!"
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